CHANGING YOUR NAME WHEN MARRYING LATER IN LIFE

Elizabeth and I thought we would start our Savvy Blog talking about subjects women marrying later in life might encounter as they planned their weddings. However, this organized approached wasn’t working for us as we are both finding many interesting topics we want to write about. So, we decided we would just write and organize the articles as our blog grows. Elizabeth recently traveled to Italy and returned home with lots of interesting ideas for destination weddings and honeymoons. I just came back from Australia and found some interesting information on women getting married later in life.

It is the feeling in Australia that women over 40 are now more likely to get married, spend more on their weddings and they change their name to take their husband’s name. Since the 70’s there has been a movement with women to keep one’s single name as an indicator of her independence. It was thought that changing their name to that of their husband’s was a signal of submission. Other women did not take their husband’s name because they had established their career under their single name and it was easier to keep that name and the reputation they had created for themselves rather than going through the process of changing their name and “losing” their identity and network established under that name. Even though women are more engaged in the workforce and better educated than ever before, they still continue to concern themselves more about the needs of their children than about themselves. The politics of the women’s liberation movement from the 70’s has now been replaced with a desire for tradition and ritual.

A survey in Australia indicated 82% of the new brides intend to change their names compared to as recently as 2007 when only 40% changed their names. As women are getting married later, you would expect they would be more attached to their maiden name. However, it now appears women who do change their name want to make a statement their marriage is a commitment and an achievement. A bride who takes her husband’s name is signaling that she is joining the high, socio-economic institution of marriage. She is signaling that she is nota single mother, she is leaving the ranks of de facto relationships, and it signifies being a family. New studies show the trend to take the husband’s name is more prevalent in the under 25 age group with one of the main reasons being that they want to share the same surname as their children.

 However, over 50% of the brides over 50 are also opting to change their name.

My personal decision was based on convenience. I am in business with a signature company and at this point in my life; it was just too much trouble to change my name. Thus, I go by my single name in some circumstances and under my married name in others. My driver’s license is in my single name and my passport is in my married name with my single name as my middle name. I have kept all legal documents in my single name. The trick is to not get Alzheimer’s so you can remember who you are, when and where! In discussing this with a friend who was married in her late sixties, she recommended not changing my name for the same reason. Additionally, her complications included health records, social security and revisiting the history of her life to figure out where she had to change her name to maintain her identity as the person she has always been but now under another name. Now I am sure you are totally confused – so do what makes you comfortable. All men like to have their wives carry their name – keep Mr. Wonderful in mind when making your decision.

Elizabeth and Marsha